devongaudet

friend: do you want to hang out?
me: i have to ask my mom
me: *doesn't ask mom*
me: she said no

slydig:

how do i get abs without doing anything

(via pride)

suspend:

i want kids but im scared they’ll blame me if theyre ugly

(via pizza)

wordsdontcomeeasynow:

thegayduck:

lucifer-who:

ghdos:

I wish I had known about this when we had all that fucking snow this winter.

#do you wanna stab a snowman #it doesn’t have to be a snowman

#it doesn’t have to be a snowman

this site is not good for my murderous tendencies

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

rapldashing:

I don’t care that I am a full grown human my parents should still carry me in from the car when I pretend to be asleep

(via phobias)

eclecticpandas:

mrbigode:

Cats do not like fruits

the last one. omg

spankmehardbarry:

when u finally convince ur friends to do something that u want to do

image

(via kianlawley)

dumbl-edore:

if anything should have a ask limit it should be my parents

(via phobias)

laughcentre:

don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes

(Source: allantruong, via disowns)

netlfix:

in all my years i have never finished a pencil

(Source: netlfix, via phobias)